two days.

Today is June 22.
June 22 has been circled and starred on my calendar for a long time now.
June 22 was the day this baby was going to arrive.
June 22 was the day this pregnancy ended.
But a doctor called yesterday and told me to forget June 22... how about June 24.
And she said it in a message.
After hours.
So I could not call her back.
I was a bit unhappy about that.
In fact, a nice girl was blow drying my hair at a salon, and I started to cry in the mirror.
Embarrassing and not helpful.
So after tossing and turning (hard turns too- so my water would break) all night,
I woke up today determined that I would be positive because after all-
it's not like this was an actual tragedy-
in fact I shouldn't even classify this as bad.
My baby is good. I am whatever I've been for nine months,
and it's only two days.
Two days.
Plus... there is NOTHING I can do about it.
But that is the problem- there is NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
I hate it when that happens.
I like to be in charge.
And right now I'm not in charge.
The baby and a doctor are in charge.
Not me.
I do not go into labor.
Brock says I'm like a JW Marriott and that the baby is not interested in checking out.
My mom bought me a Pregnancy/Inducing Massage last night after the crying in the salon thing-
I think she would have bought me a pony at the point-
everyone was a little nervous that I was going to lose it, and I mean LOSE IT.
But I didn't lose it, and I didn't go into labor either.
And all I need is a little pitocin.
I don't even need a room- I will have my baby in the lobby, next to the fish tank.
Me, and Pitocin, and fish tank- ALL I NEED.
But the next two days include no plans for pitocin and without that there is no baby.
So I will try to accept that because, after all,
"Sometimes crap happens. Sorry about that," is what the doctor said in her message last night.
Life lessons, my friends, life lessons.