Resolution.

Tessa's New Year Resolution is to take her clothes off at least five times a day.
She is awesome at this.

When it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I am the Queen.
I love them.
I love the possibility of improvement- of being better this year than I was last.
I love making (a few) lists.
In fact I'm pretty much like a kid making a massive Christmas List.
Deep down they know there's no way they're going to get all this stuff,
but the possibility of maybe just getting one awesome toy drives them... even if it's a long shot.
That is me.
I make about a hundred resolutions- of all varieties- in the hopes that maybe just a few will stick.
I'm sure you think that my time and energy would be better spent focusing on one or two.
You might have a point, but then the list would be so short and that's no fun.
Plus, how would I decide on one or two?
There are soooo many things I want to do or get better at or make into habits.
I want to be better at everything!!!
As I was once again running through my list of goals-
thinking how this year was going to be so much better than last year...
A voice in my head whispered, "Remember the good in last year."
Because the kind, compassionate voice that wants me to be happy with who I am
is always just a whisper...
(The voice that tells me to be better, do more, work harder is a little bit louder than a whisper.)
And so I did.
I remembered how amazing 2011 really was.
I remembered how hard it was to be pregnant for the first 6 months (but how I did it),
and then to have 3 little girls and a baby for the next 6 months.
I remembered how everyone says four is the same amount of work as three.
I remembered how that is totally a lie.
I remembered the birth of my beautiful Eve.
I remembered the summer spent holding her and cherishing the beautiful little baby girl she was.
I remembered how the first three weeks I spent holding her in an indoor pool with Tessa screaming strapped in her stroller so that Annie and Kate could do swimming lessons.
I remembered how everyone who said four is the same as three is a liar.
I remembered how I had to learn how to juggle the needs and wants of each little girl, and how to let go of the guilt when I wasn't able to do it very well.
I remembered how Brock and I both turned thirty and how we found out that being thirty is awesome.
I remembered the very moment I realized how blessed I am to have this crazy, hectic, unorganized life- and how I realized I didn't want or need anything more than what was right in front of me.

And I realized that maybe

I should have just one New Year's Resolution:

Maybe I need to

Pay more attention

To the whisper

That tells me

To be happy with who I am,

And ignore the screaming voice

That tells me

To do and be more.

(I mean it shouldn't be that hard,

I ignore screaming voices all day around here.)

So that is it... my goal for 2012.

Well, and maybe one more resolution-

just so it's officially a list...

I think I can handle that

And painting my nails...

Happy 2012!