Midnight Patrol.

I've decided that having 4 kids in 6 years is fun and tiring.
If I was going to break it down into numbers,
I would have to say having 4 kids in 6 years is like, I don't know-
Maybe 95% Exhausting and 5% fun.
Especially around 4:00 pm- the ratio at 4 pm is more like 101% exhausting and -1% fun.
So last night I decided that I was going to get a good nights sleep.
So here is a report on how I did.
10:00 pm- in my bed, but Brock is on the computer- so I can't sleep.
10:15 pm- Got out of bed to show Brock the Hunger Games Preview.
10:30 pm- Still telling Brock about the plot and can you believe that Lenny Kravitz is Cinna- and he is saying all the appropriate questions to show that he listening, but I can see that he is wondering why in the world I am talking about a movie that comes out March 23- that is so far away right now. We might as well stay up and talk about our retirement plans.
10:45 pm- falling asleep, but with one eye open because I am worried that someone is going to kill me in my sleep.
12:45 am- wake to hear someone POUNDING on our door. Trying to figure out what the crap that was- then more pounding and then the doorbell. I wake Brock up and say "GET THE DOOR! EMERGENCY!" He does not wake up quickly. He is confused. He gets up and slowly and very confusedly makes his way downstairs. The POUNDING AND RINGING continue throughout all of this. Brock makes his way to the window and peeks out. He then stands there in front of the door- while yet again there is pounding and ringing. "OPEN THE DOOR!" I say and then finally look at him to see he has no "official" shorts on- he does have "unofficial" shorts, but not "allowed to answer the door in" shorts. So I proceed to tell him NOT to answer the door. "I'll get it." I look out the window and see it's a Lady Officer of the Law. I open the door and she goes on to tell me that our garage door is open, and she doesn't want anyone to steal all of our stuff or walk into our house. "Oh, thank you. We will go shut it now." Watching her carefully as she holds her giant flashlight. Was she pounding on our door with that bad boy? I shut the door. I shut the garage door. We go back to bed.
12:50 am- I cannot slow my heart rate. I cannot close my eyes.
12:55 am- I make Brock double check all of our doors to make sure they're locked.
1:00 am- I cannot turn my back to the door.
1:05 am- I try to remember exactly what the lady cop said. I wasn't sure if she said she thought she saw someone go into our garage. Why didn't I ask her why she was here. Was she looking for someone? Did they look in our garage?
1:10 am- I make Brock go check the garage.
1:15 am- Still cannot close my eyes. I start to imagine a crazy guy is in our house. I come up with a plan. I will feed him. That's all I got. I realize I have nothing to use as a weapon. I make a mental note to put a baseball bat under my bed. That should suffice- I used to hit home runs.
1:20 am- Brock scares the crap out of me when he comes back upstairs to give me the all-clear. Realize it's probably a good thing I don't have any weapons under my bed.
1:30 am- Now I am positive that there is somebody in my house. I can hear him walking around. I make Brock bring the girls in our room.
1:45 am- Brock makes me go downstairs with him so I can check all the hiding spots where I think this intruder may be hiding. Once the lights are all on downstairs, I realize I'm being silly- but I still check the coat closet.
2:00 am- Back in the dark, I realize I didn't check under the kitchen sink. Maybe he is a very small intruder. Now I actually realize I'm being ridiculous. Make myself close my eyes. Eventually fall asleep.
3:00 am- Baby Eve wakes up because she's hungry.
4:00 am- I have a dream I'm answering questions from the Lady Cop at Kneader's while we eat french toast- maybe I am hungry too.
5:00 am- Brock gets up for work.
5:30 am- Brock leaves for work.
6:00 am- Tessa wakes up. I give her my phone so she can watch Dora. I am soooo tired.
7:00 am- Girlies wake up. I let them play games on the computer. Still sooooo tired.
8:00 am- Eve wakes up. Time to start my day...
So much for my good night's rest. And somebody tell me why the Lady Cop didn't just shut my garage for me. She could have just pushed the button and ducked under the door while hopping over the laser. I'm sure the do drills for that kind of stuff all the time. But I do appreciate her looking out for us- glad we have the law on our side.

Here is a list of things I learned last night.
1. Brock is not to be relied on if there is an emergency in the middle of the night. He did not even put shorts on.
2. I am a wimp, and I worry a lot.
3. I should not think about Hunger Games before bed.
4. There is a chance that Brock is hiding a secret criminal background from me. When I asked him today why he didn't answer the door- he said, "I saw the cop car, and I thought they were coming for me." I asked him why they might be coming for him. He said, "That's why I was confused. I didn't think I had done anything wrong. I do have that one parking ticket I haven't paid..."
5. Brock is a good husband and put up with all of my freaking out and still got up and got himself off to work. I am impressed.

And so now, it is 4 pm. I have to say that today I am pretty much 200% tired and -100% fun. But I do have a safe family and a garage full of stuff- except I am missing a bin filled with 5T girls clothes. Maybe the very small intruder that hid under my kitchen sink was a girl and she took off with that bin... That explains it...